I hate to admit it, but ‘Run fat b*tch run’ is working. The book is basically Simon Cowell meets Mean Girls. It tells you to admit to yourself that your fat and ugly, because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t have bought the book. I know! The cheek. And worst, it’s getting me out of the house and running!

As noted in my last post it worked from the very first page. I’m outraged because it flies in the face of the standard self help book; and boasts about it. Advice includes comparing yourself to celebrities! Um…. is that right? All I can think whilst reading it is that it doesn’t have the reader’s mental wellbeing in mind.

I want my money’s worth (all £2!) so I’ll keep reading it and see what happens.

Back to Simon for a minute. Lets imagine X-Factor is called R-factor – the R being for Running (I know, I just earned myself a ‘G’ for genius!). This is what I imagine Simon would say:

‘You run like Pavarotti’
‘You remind me of my boat…on legs’
‘I didn’t know Cinema Screens jogged’
‘Are you working with Christina Aguilera’s personal trainer?’

Can you think of any funny lines? Write them in the comments.

Back to my run. I pushed out 26 minutes. At 8 minutes in I felt some pain, which I put down to the cold weather. At 13 minutes in, the running became hard work, which I put down to the big dinner I had.

Until next time!