I received some bad news today and shortly after I received the call-of-doom I went through my options of how to react to it. Now I didn’t think it through as clearly as I have outlined it below; below is a summary of what I thought amidst the *$!%*&!
2. send an angry email
3. buy lots of cakes and eat them
Then in a very grown-uppy way I thought:
I know, that shit cray. But the other 3 options weren’t safe or healthy. So I just focused on having a run after work. It was tough. My eyes welled, I wrote what I wanted to say on paper and I had to resist the urge to spend hundreds of pennies in Sainsbury’s on my way home.
I was mad as hell and wasn’t ready to make nice when I got home. I put my shit down (gangster translator = I recklessly placed my bag and coat on the floor), drank a class of water, got changed in the god damn dark (still no light) and hit the streets. The idea to run my anger out can be traced back to two people that I know and a bunch of random strangers that I follow:
1. A colleague who goes on walks during the day when she needs a break, which she sometimes refers to as ‘pounding the pavement’.
2. A friend who tells me she runs to clear her head.
3. Bloggers and Facebook fitness pages.
Did the run work? I hear
you nobody cry ‘cos cryin’ ain’t cool.
No, because it filled my mind with negativity and I don’t need negativity in my mind when running. When running I spend most of the time trying to fight negativity, e.g. this is killing me, why am I doing this?, when will this torture end? So inviting negative thoughts in, even if they weren’t related to running, eventually lead to negative thoughts about running and made me want to stop running.
Thankfully I caught on to what was happening early and nipped it in the bud. In exchange for negative thoughts I started to day dream about positive things, e.g. a, b, c, which makes time fly. In the end I did a 30 minute run, which is great because at one point it looked like I would only manage 15 minutes! So ban all negativity from your runs I say!
In addition to running, I had a banana milkshake after running [watch my video on how to make one], had a shower, ate homemade roasted vegetable quiche and typed. I don’t think negativity is bad for my writing. I think it makes me quite funny. But that’s just me, laughing at my own jokes.