Currently I’m 3 swims behind on my blogging. My intention is to blog about every swim however I’ve just begun week 3 of my training and I’m already falling behind. My problem is I swim every other day; generating the need for a lot of blog posts! But I enjoy a challenge so here goes!
Now, Thursday 13th February is a long time ago and I can’t remember much about the swim but I could never forget webbed hand man.
A man wearing webbed gloves, who for the duration of this post will be called webbed hand man, swam at the speed of a cheetah whilst inhabiting the medium speed lane. God help me. He was faster than all of us combined. He wasn’t happy unless he was over taking someone and showering the lifeguard who was positioned 5 metres away.
Now, there’s this phenomena that occurs at the end of swimming lanes sometimes. The phenomena is people gathering. Some people are resting, some people are letting a faster swimmer go in front of them, some people are waiting for sufficient space between the person who has just set off and them to grow, some people have just got in, some people are talking to their friends, some people are stopping to adjust their goggles, some people are peeing.
Well, on Thursday there was a moment when me (resting), webbed hand man (waiting for sufficient space between him and the person who had just set off to grow) and another man (who knows what he was doing but he was cute) were all waiting at the end of the lane. Now, due to webbed hand man swimming at the speed of light he was waiting for a really long space to grow. The swimmer in front of webbed hand man was practically at the other end of the pool when my patience threw in its towel and I set off. After all, I didn’t have all day.
As I was cutting in front of webbed hand man I heard the cute guy tell webbed hand man about the existence of the fast lane. I also heard webbed hand man groan as I cut in front of him. But you know what? Be in the right lane for your speed. Don’t swim like a cheetah and intimidate the medium lane swimmers. I never knew if webbed hand man was ferociously coming up on my side or not. Having to constantly check over my shoulder was frustrating. Thankfully my cutting in front of him drove him to the fast lane.
Now, Thursday was my first swim where I did more than 4 lengths in the medium lane. I was putting my big girl pants on. So imagine being greeted by webbed hand man. Also, there was a woman who wasn’t looking where she was going, caught up to me, and clawed my feet with her unkempt finger nails. I don’t know what it is but some people refuse to look ahead when they’re swimming in a lane which has other people in it. #Amateurs. Despite WHM (webbed hand man) and UFN (unkempt finger nails) I did 84 lengths of front crawl in the medium lane in 1 hour 20 minutes. #Boom. It was the first time I swam exclusively front crawl and swam that much of it since my heyday 2-3 years ago.
Now, this is not about farting in water. It’s about the other thing that was going on in the pool other than WHM’s assault on the medium lane.
For the entire duration of my swim there was several people setting up instruments at the side of the pool. They did a sound check and it sounded really cool underwater. I was hoping they’d start the gig whilst I was still swimming but sadly they didn’t. You see, even the prospect of a free gig wasn’t going to keep me in the pool with WHM or UFN a minute longer. Instead I decided to watch the gig from the viewing platform after getting changed.
On my way to the viewing platform I spoke to the receptionist. He told me the name of the event (wet sounds), the concept (testing sound and water) and that the gig had now started.
I’ll be honest it didn’t seem like they had started! I expected a whole band to be playing and for there to be singing; as they had set up a lot of equipment. However, sadly there was just a man playing xylophone. It probably sounded impressive in the pool but from where I was sat it was only worth 5 minutes of my time whilst I was checking Facebook and drying my hair. Having said that, I hope they come back and if possible play multiple instruments at once whilst someone sings, all whilst I’m still in the pool. #AGirlCanDream
I hope WHM never comes back. UFN can come back on the condition she invests in a pair of shears.
I’m putting myself through all this for a great charity called Comic Relief. If you’d like to sponsor me my fundraising page is here. So far I am 50% of the way towards my fundraising target, thanks to all the wonderfully kind people I know.